TWILY Ministries |
Love Notes | Jan 2010
No
Thanks…I’m Full!
Well, here we are at the top of a New Year, and like Swiss clockwork, fitness
centers everywhere, are busy trying to woo us
in. They're counting on the strong
likelihood that we all ate too much during our Thanksgiving, Christmas,
New Year's,
and, if you're like me, birthday
celebrations. If true,
they too stand to gain – only in a much better way.
Of course the operative phrase here is "if true",
because - believe it or not - some people managed to do very well;
didn’t go overboard once! Somewhere
along the way, they’ve learned that it is okay to say “no” when their plates are full – literally and figuratively. Wow, we can all
learn something from people like that.
Admittedly, that's not always easy, is it? Many people, even
in ministry, struggle with saying "no",
even when their plates are way too full. Consequently, what once was a joy becomes stressful
and "chore-like", as they suffer from the weight of it all.
I heard one prominent teacher who was dealing with
this topic say "People fix their own plates, so
they have no one to blame but themselves." That's true, but my
question is "Why?; Why do
people continue to say "yes" to stuff, when so many things
around them (e.g. family, friends, health, laundry,
and more-importantly, "quiet-time"
with the Lord) is "SCREAMING"
for them to say "no?"
I know you can think of a few good reasons, but
for the sake of time and space, let's look at one reason that most of us are
probably familiar with, that being:
"TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYONE"
TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYONE IS NEVER GOOD and in fact, it too, often
springs from other unhealthy reasons; seeking
promotion, desiring to be liked by everyone,
and fearing man, for examples. The Bible
teaches against such misguided things.
True promotion comes from the Lord (Psalm
75:6-7), and if everyone is speaking well of you, woe! - (Luke 6:26)!
So you see, then, we shouldn't be too concerned with "trying to please everyone", a.k.a. "man-pleasing". It
leads to nothing good – nothing eternally good, and isn’t that what really
counts? The Apostle Paul knew that, and he
clearly let his opponents know that he was no man-pleaser. As such, he went
about his work with no fear of man.
That's important because some people find it hard to say "no" simply because they fear how the person may react to them doing so.
We cannot please everyone, and even if we could,
there simply isn't enough time to do
it! Something is bound to suffer and not receive
the level of attention it deserves. I remember those days.
At one point in time,
I was involved with so many committees, many of which I just ended up on by default (after having
volunteered for something else). I was constantly trying to keep up
with the demands and attend all the ever-increasing meetings that went along
with them.
I had very little
time for anything else; including studying God's
Word - a CRUCIAL problem, for teachers, since we will be held at a higher standard (James 3:1); I knew something had to give, but, of course, I
couldn't disappoint anyone – except the Lord,
I guess. Now, that may have caused a gasp or two, but, really, isn't that what it
amounts to when we are SO BUSY - even with good stuff -
that we end up neglecting things the Lord has called us to do?
Anyway, that was me,
and even though I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking to my
heart about such busyness, I was slow to change things, until I really
began to grasp the folly of it all.
One
day, about three years ago, I received a call
from a friend. She was so distraught and really in need of prayer and encouragement
from God's Word. I really didn't know what
the issue was, because she was so upset until she just couldn’t seem to get it
out; lots of tears. Not wanting to rush her, I
just waited; only interjecting a few words here-and-there
as I felt led. Eventually, I got an opportunity to respond to
what she had managed to get out, and
she began to calm down and open up more. As the Holy
Spirit led, she started feeling
better and FINALLY, she was ready to talk. I was so glad, but there was just
one problem - the clock! - Time had
lapsed, and I had to cut the poor woman off and say:
"I'm
so sorry, but would you mind if I called you back later?
I have to get to a meeting."
Man!
I felt SO BAD
– and frustrated, too - because those types of things seemed
to be happening more-and-more. One minister put it very well when he said
"Many
of us are too busy passing by ministry trying to get to meetings - I mean ministry."
I knew that was not God's will, and soon afterwards, I made some changes.
That was a while ago, but even now,
I have to be very mindful, making sure I’m redeeming the time. People won’t
always understand, but, again, we’ll never be able to please
everyone. Far more important is pleasing the One who checks the heart’s motives.
Now, am I saying
that serving on multiple committees,
etc. is wrong?
No;
I'm not
saying that; some people are able to juggle plenty, and
get it all done - very well! However, for some, that is not the case. By
saying "yes" to too many things - often
for the wrong reasons - they spread themselves too thin, and end up merely dabbling in their key areas of
responsibility.
That's what I mean;
understanding it differently would be a misinterpretation, which leads me to a final reason why some people struggle in this area: Misinterpreting God's Word. Believe it
or not, some people believe that if they say “no”, it somehow makes them “less
saved!” Unfortunately, they’ve fallen victim to Scripture
twisting. By misinterpreting God’s Word, someone has made them think that
“works” impact – or add to – our salvation.
That’s just wrong, and only adds credence to the necessity of leaving space on our plates; we need extra space to “Berean-up!”,
if you will. - (Acts
17:11) By spending personal time in study,
prayer, and worship, not only will we be able to give a reason for our hope (1 Peter 3:15), we will be able to recognize
when someone is twisting God's Word. Nothing we “do” adds to our
salvation, as Ephesians 2:8-9 points out:
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that
not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that
no one may boast.
Our work, is
a result of us being saved; not the other way around (James
2:20), and that pretty much concludes the matter – and this Love Note.
Recapping, we all have our plates before us, and while some are able to pile theirs
up high, and manage very well, others are not. With too much on their
plates, they find themselves stressed,
and often, merely dabbling in those
areas that should be receiving more of their time.
For those of us who
find ourselves in the latter category, it is important to arrive at and maintain a healthy balance, which means “sometimes saying
no.” - but how? How do we go about
choosing from the pile of requests, opportunities,
etc. that come our way? Should we sign up for a 16 week seminar? We
could; there are some great ones out there, if time and finances permit. Until
then, though, let me leave you with a quicker solution, one that
has been captured very well in a New Year's catch
phrase? It simply says this:
In 2010, Aim to Please God, Not men!
Friends, no matter
which category you and I tend to fall in, let's all
aim to please God; not just in 2010, but
from this day forward. As we spend time in prayer, study, and worship, He will
give us the answers and guidance we need, and when He does, let’s do it! It is in Him we live, move, and have our being (Acts 17:28), and when we choose to please
Him, we will always find the perfect balance, for His yoke is easy, and His
burden is light! – (Matthew 11:30) Happy New Year,
and God willing, see you soon.
Sincerely,
Joyce
©Joyce Bailey
January 2010
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